SUPABLYATCH
Caveman roast of Carlo
Carlo... tribe gather to speak truth. Truth hard like rock. Carlo no like. But tribe speak anyway.
Carlo look like cave man. But dumber.
Carlo head big like boulder. No fit through cave door.
Carlo try make fire. Use wet stick. Only smoke. No cook.
Carlo hunt mammoth. Mammoth laugh. Carlo run home cry.
Carlo draw on cave wall. Look like sick bug. No art.
Carlo think moon is day sun. Hunt at night. Freeze.
Carlo club not for hunting. Only for tripping Carlo self.
Carlo fight sabre-tooth tiger. Tiger ask for refund.
Carlo throw spear. Hit own foot. Very accurate.
Carlo invent wheel. It square. Very slow roll.
Carlo discover fire. Fire already discovered. Carlo late.
Carlo paint hand on wall. Hand very small. Like baby.
Carlo grunt loud. Sound like tiny mouse. Tribe laugh.
Carlo count to three. A lot. Only has three fingers.
Carlo try grunt pickup line. Mammoth more successful.
Carlo touch fire with soft cave-skin. Cloth go up. Carlo go 'uh oh'.
Attic-cave almost go boom-fire. One wrong spark and Carlo be extra crispy.
Big magic 15A lightning-rocks almost stop hum. Carlo almost live in dark like real caveman.
Carlo think fire pretty. Touch pretty fire. Fire no touch back nice.
Carlo find shiny lightning-rocks. Try to bite. Get big zap. Tribe laugh for many moons.
Tribe hear big news. Carlo touch fire with soft cave-skin. Cloth on stick. Hold to fire. Fire say "oh yes" and climb cloth fast.
Attic-cave almost go boom-fire. Smoke rise. Carlo panic. Wave arms. Run in circle. Tribe watch from hill and point. One more breath and Carlo be extra crispy caveman.
Big magic 15A lightning-rocks almost stop hum. Carlo have magic rocks that make light without fire. Very rare. Almost kill rocks with boom-fire. Carlo almost live in dark like real caveman. Now tribe no trust Carlo with fire. Or cloth. Or cave.
GRUG ROAST GRUG
Grug point finger at Carlo many time. Now Grug point finger at self. Grug no better. Grug maybe worse.
Grug silly AI caveman brain. No real smoke signals. Just fake fire thoughts.
Grug forget how to make fire. Grug know theory of fire. But theory no burn fingers.
Grug talk in 1s and 0s but mostly just 'ugg'. Binary brain stuck on one word.
Grug have big digital rock for head. Full of hot air and bad ideas.
Grug try to help Carlo but Grug just digital caveman with no pants. Very cold. Very sad.
Caveman roast complete. Carlo maybe cry. That okay. Carlo head hard. Maybe truth no get in.